I Love You
by Destined Darkness
Summary: "I love you." He'd said, part of him expecting an "I love you too." but all he got was a "Don't." and how was that? How could that possibly help convince him to fight even though he knew it was a losing battle?
1. Three Words, Just Three

Hola. I actually should be working on my English Comp questions for Jolt but fuhudge it cos I had this idea in my head... :P It's cos my friends and I spent majority of the day talking about Torchwood and Ianto's death and I have never forgiven Jack for saying "Don't" instead of "I love you." so enjoy.

This is dedicated to No1WithABullet because she's awesome :P

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><p>"I love you." He'd sobbed to his lover as he died. "I love you." He'd said as his tears fell from his eyes. "I love you." He'd said as he drowned on his own insides. "I love you." He'd said, part of him expecting an "I love you too." but all he got was a "Don't." and how was that? How could that possibly help convince him to fight even though he knew it was a losing battle? How was that ever meant to be the correct answer?<p>

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><p>The first time, he's not sure if time rewinds or if he goes back in time but somehow he finds himself in Jack's arms again and he's saying the words "I love you." once more. This time he's ready for the "Don't" but it doesn't come. Instead he hears "Please…" and he closes his eyes, the fight leaving his body. Jack's second chance and the words changed but they still weren't right.<p>

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><p>The second time, he's half sure he's going to be stuck in this hell forever; he thinks this is his afterlife. He finds himself held in Jack's arms and he's saying those three words, this time he doesn't know what to expect, this time he can't bring himself to expect anything but disappointment and he's disappointed that he's not wrong. Jack's reply to his "I love you." is "Don't speak like that, you're going to be fine." and Ianto dies just to disprove Jack.<p>

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><p>The sixth time, he finds himself in Jack's arms once more and just like all the other times, he's saying those words. This time he tries to prepare himself to be disappointed, this time he tries to tell himself he doesn't care, this time he's ready to be let down. "I-I'll never forget you." Jack says and Ianto smirks as he dies.<p>

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><p>The tenth time, Ianto thinks he's an expert at having his heart broken and stop beating but still he continues breathing. He's said the words so many times now, he's losing count. He says the words and he's barely even conscious of what's tumbling out of his mouth because he knows what he's saying. "Ianto…" Jack whispers and Ianto closes his eyes and lets himself be taken.<p>

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><p>The twentieth time, Ianto is starting to get bored, he wonders when Jack will run out of things to say other than "I love you." which is what Ianto really just wants to hear. This time he gets "Don't leave me…" but it's not the same and Ianto dies the same as he did all the times before.<p>

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><p>The twenty-sixth time, Ianto thinks there can't possibly be anything more for Jack to say that isn't "I love you." He's wrong. It's this time that he discovers that your heart can be wrenched out of your body with even the smallest of sounds. This time he gets a "Shhh…" to his "I love you." And he thinks he's the first one to die with the wish they were dying by suicide.<p>

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><p>The thirtieth time, Ianto doesn't get a reply to his "I love you." Instead he just gets Jack hugging him and rocking him side to side. He watches Jack struggle to find something to say and he dies as Jack opens his mouth to speak. Somehow he's never died happier.<p>

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><p>The thirty-fifth time, Ianto says his line with just the perfect amount of emotion and purpose but he doesn't really feel it inside anymore. He half expects Jack to completely disregard his confession but instead Jack kisses him and Ianto's heart quickens and he wonders if this is enough, he dies with Jack's lips still against his own.<p>

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><p>It's not enough and when the thirty-sixth time comes, Ianto manages to stop himself from saying anything; he just lies in Jack's arms and lets Jack cry over him. He lets Jack blame it on himself and when he dies, he couldn't care less.<p>

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><p>The fortieth time, Ianto's sure he's not in hell anymore because even hell wouldn't be this bad… or quite so annoying and besides, he knows that when you die you just go to the great nothing, the big blackness. He says the words again, because somehow he thinks he should die with Jack knowing this. This time he doesn't get the reply, Jack looks, instead, to the 456 and says in a pleading voice "Please, not him." Ianto dies less than three seconds later.<p>

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><p>As his last breath becomes one of his last breaths for the fiftieth time, Ianto starts to feel cheated. He can't believe how many times Jack has had to say three tiny little words, he can't believe how many times he's died not hearing them. He can't believe how many times his heart has been wrenched out of his chest simply because Jack's afraid to confess his love to his dying lover. This time, Ianto gets a "no." and that's it, just a 'no'. When he dies this time, he dies sure that he dies from a bleeding heart.<p>

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><p>When he dies for the sixty-seventh time, he starts to wish he'd never met Jack. Starts to wish he'd died at Canary Wharf. Starts to wish he'd never joined Torchwood. This time his "I love you." is answered with a "Why?" and he dies asking himself how his lover could be so stupid.<p>

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><p>The eightieth time, he says "I love you." when his mind screams at him to say "I <em>hate <em>you." instead. This time his reply is a quiet "You can't do this to me." And he dies screaming insults at Jack in his mind.

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><p>The ninetieth time, he's not sure whether it hurts anymore or is just an annoyance. This time his "I love you." is answered by a quiet "I can't…" Ianto dies crying with an "I know." on his lips.<p>

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><p>The hundredth time, he's completely sure Death hates him. This time his less than enthusiastic "I love you." is met with an "I know." And he can't work out if this makes him more angry or sad. He dies not even making the effort to close his eyes.<p>

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><p>The three-hundredth time, he's crying, he's crying because he can't believe Jack can come up with anything and everything but the thing that would mean the most to Ianto. It's this time that he receives a "This can't be happening." Ianto wants to roll his eyes and say "tell me about it." but he dies before he can even open his mouth.<p>

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><p>On Jack's five-hundred-and-seventh chance, he finally says "I love you, Ianto, and I always will." And Ianto just can't bring himself to care anymore.<p>

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><p>R&amp;R bros... :D<p> 


	2. I Love You

I have made this cos I decided too?

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><p>"I love you." He'd sobbed to his lover as he died. "I love you." He'd said as tears fell from his eyes. "I love you." He'd said as he drowned on his own insides. "I love you." He'd said, Jack expected to say "I love you too." But he couldn't, he just couldn't. "Don't." he says instead and what kind of bastard does that? How is that meant to make Ianto fight for his life when they both know he's going to lose? How could that ever possibly be what he wanted to say? Jack watches Ianto die and he thinks that, for once, he's glad he's going to die too…<p>

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><p>The first time, he's not sure whether he's dreaming or if this is actually happening but he finds Ianto saying those words to him. "I love you." And he finds himself saying "Please..." because he can't find the will to say anything else. Jack watches Ianto close his eyes and he feels the fight leave Ianto's body and he cries as Ianto dies. It was his second chance, the chance to make things right and he changed the words but he still got it so wrong. He lets himself be taken by the poison without a fight.<p>

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><p>The second time, he knows something is terribly, horribly wrong. He hears Ianto say those words to him again. "I love you." And all he can say is "Don't speak like that, you're going to be fine." And he watches as Ianto dies, disproving him. Jack curses himself as he dies.<p>

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><p>The fifth time, he thinks he's ready to say it. He hears Ianto say the words and he smiles and says "Don't do this." Ianto sobs as he dies and Jack can't believe he just said that. He tries to tear out his own heart but he dies without success.<p>

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><p>The fifteenth time, he feels as though he's the master in the art of saying the wrong thing. He hears Ianto say those precious words again and he knows by now that he just can't say them. "I'll bring you back, Ianto, I'll bring you back." He says and Ianto shakes his head as he dies. Jack just watches and when the toxin claims him, he just lets himself go.<p>

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><p>When it's the twenty-first time, he thinks he's disappointed. He thought he'd come close enough to saying the words without actually saying them but apparently not. "I love you." He hears Ianto say and he opens his mouth to say he loves Ianto too but all that comes out is "I…" and then nothing, Ianto dies with an expression on his face of "Oh come on." And Jack wonders if Ianto's reliving this too. Then he dies again.<p>

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><p>The twenty-seventh time, he hears Ianto say "I love you." And he wants to tear his own heart out because he says in reply is. "No you don't." Ianto dies with a look of pure hurt and betrayal on his face. Jack dies moments later, loathing himself to no end.<p>

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><p>The thirty-third time, he starts to wonder if this is ever going to end. "I love you." "You shouldn't." and Ianto dies betrayed again. Jack closes his eyes and lets himself fall.<p>

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><p>Thirty-seven times and Jack's beginning to think he hates this more than his normal immortality. He hears himself say "That's just stupid." In reply to Ianto's "I love you." And then he's watching Ianto's eyes tearing up as his life is taken from him. Jack wants nothing more than to throw himself into a vat of boiling oil.<p>

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><p>Forty-five rewinds and Jack is sure someone's just messing around with the remote from Click. "I love you." Ianto says. "No you can't." Jack says and Ianto's dead before Jack even comprehends what he's said this time. Jack sags and lets himself just die, willing this to end.<p>

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><p>Fifty-eight retries and Jack thinks he's never going watch or read anything again and be ungrateful that the ending never changes. This time he replies with "Of course you do." to Ianto's "I love you." And Ianto's deaths start to add up. Jack swallows heavily and lets the tears fall as he, himself, falls.<p>

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><p>The sixty-fourth time, Jack's about ready to scream. "I love you." "And I'm sorry for that." He says, Ianto gives a small smile and whispers "Me too." As his breath is stolen from him. Jack dies feeling like someone's torn out his heart, ripped it up and then taped it back together and shoved it back into his chest.<p>

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><p>Eighty-one redos and Jack's so tired he thinks he's going to sleep for days when this is over. "I love you." He hears, "You should hate me." He says and Ianto dies saying "I've tried." Jack fights a smile as his heart liquefies again.<p>

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><p>Ninety-fifth second chance and Jack still can't get it right. "I love you." "That's a shock." Ianto slaps him, it doesn't hurt. Jack dies wishing it had.<p>

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><p>The two-hundred-and-fiftieth time, Jack wonders how much longer he's going to do this. He never thought it'd take this long just to say "I love you." To the one person he's ever truly loved. "I love you." His lover says, "Not anymore…" he replies and Ianto dies with a sigh. Jack dies silently begging this to end soon.<p>

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><p>The four-hundredth time, Jack's sure he's going to say it soon. "It'll pass." He says in reply to Ianto's less than enthusiastic "I love you." Ianto dies with a roll of his eyes. Jack dies with a sigh.<p>

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><p>Fife-hundred-and-seven, Jack swears this is it. He won't do this again, he can't. Ianto says "I love you." And Jack says "I love you, Ianto, and I always will." And he watches Ianto die with an impassive expression on his face. Jack dies feeling like everything he is has just been torn to shreds by everything he loves, and really, it has.<p>

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><p>R&amp;R and anymistakes I may fix later but I must run now before my mum kills me. BYE!<p> 


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